


Isn't That What Life Is Made Of?

by YouHateInvisiblePie



Series: Inspired by music [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, canon typical cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9336485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouHateInvisiblePie/pseuds/YouHateInvisiblePie
Summary: Though it worries them to say that they've never felt this way.Church, Simmons, and Tucker try to say some rather important words to Caboose, Grif, and Washington respectively.So what are they so afraid of?





	

It didn't matter that it was the middle of the night. It didn't matter that he had been in the middle of quite an enjoyable dream. Church's subconscious decided that now was the time for him to confess.

 _Get up. Get up_ , It whispered. _Go tell him_ , it said. _Once he knows, that dream can become a reality. Don't you want that? You should go tell him. Now_.

But Church didn't want to tell him, did he? That would require not only admitting it to himself first, but also having to say the words aloud. _That dream wasn't admittance enough?_  his subconscious scoffed. _Go._  
_Now. Confess. Tell him. Now. Now. Now._

Grabbing his pillow and pressing it to his face, Church tried to suffocate himself so that he wouldn't have to go and do what he had difficulty believing he was actually considering. When that failed, he got out of his bed and went to wake Caboose.

"Hey, Caboose, wake up," Church whispered, gently trying to shake the other man awake.

"Good morning, Church!" Caboose exclaimed with far too much energy considering the god-awful hour of the morning, and the fact that he had been in a deep sleep mere moments before.

"Ah, shit!" Church cursed in a slightly startled but still manly fashion, and definitely did not screech like a terrified pre-teen girl. "What the fuck Caboose?"

"Good morning best friend," Caboose repeated cheerfully and only slightly quieter.

Thankfully Tucker slept like the dead, but this still wasn't a conversation Church even wanted to chance the other soldier overhearing.

"It's not morning."

"Then why are we awake? Church if we do not sleep Santa Claus will not bring us presents," Caboose said.

"It's not even Dec- never mind. Can we talk"

"Aren't we already talking?" Caboose interrupted. "Unless I am only thinking about talking but my words aren't coming out again. That happens sometimes. But I don't think now. We are talking, aren't we Church?"

"Yes," Church sighed, "but I meant privately. Outside."

"Like a super secret best friend meeting?! I will not tell Tucker because he is stupid and not invited," Caboose declared. "Are our meetings weekly or bicentennial?"

 _This idiot,_ Church thought to himself. _Of all the people it had to be this idiot_. He didn't even bother to reply, instead just leaving the room knowing that his teammate would follow.

"So what are we talking about, Church?"

It was now or never.

"I think -"  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"What did you just say?" Grif asked, staring at Simmons as if the maroon soldier had just grown an extra head right there in front of him.

"Nothing," Simmons squeaked, before trying to get his voice back to normal and repeating himself. "Nothing. I didn't say anything, did you say something? Because I didn't hear anything."

"What the fuck, Simmons?" Grif asked. "You've been acting weird all day. Weird even for you, and then you go and say -"

"I didn't say anything. Everything is normal."

"You're not normal at your best," Grif pointed out.

"Oh, because you're the perfect example of normality," Simmons said, rolling his eyes.

"Closer to it than you, kiss-ass," the orange soldier retorted. "At least I don't go around shouting nonsense at people the second they walk into a room."

 _It wasn't nonsense_ , Simmons thought petulantly. _Just because I don't quite know how to deal with what I feel doesn't invalidate it or turn it into nonsense._

"So are you going to explain yourself or what?" Grif pressed.

"I think -"  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Why should I believe any of what you just said, Tucker?" Agent Washington asked as he finally stopped walking away and turned to face the soldier who clearly had no intention to quit following him and take a hint. Best to just face him and get it over with then.

"Because I'm being serious!" Tucker was frustrated. Was it really that hard to understand? He'd said it as plainly as he knew how.

"Since when?" Washington asked.

"Since when?" Tucker repeated, not understanding the question at first. Then suddenly it clicked, and he responded with a question of his own. "In general, or you specifically?"

Well Agent Washington certainly hadn't been expecting that. For a moment he didn't know what to say, and that silence spoke volumes.

"I hate to break it to you, but you're not my first," the smirk was audible in Tucker's voice.

"And the constant talk about women is all for show then?" He sounded suspicious. "So no one will suspect?"

"Hell no! I love the ladies," Tucker explained. "I just also happen to like guys too. Sometimes." When Washington didn't say anything, Tucker continued. "It's like nine out of ten times I like women, but there is still that one out of ten. That's like 1/8th of the time, so I'm like 25% gay."

"You got gayer the longer that sentence progressed, according to your math," Agent Washington pointed out.

"Whatever, I'm a lover not a math teacher. Although," he paused dramatically and then used his sultriest voice, "I would love to teach you want you plus me equals."

"Tucker, I swear to god if you say 69 I will -"

"Oh, that is much better than what I was going to say!"

Washington let out a long-suffering sigh. " _This_ is why I have trouble taking you seriously."

He turned to walk away again, and Tucker, desperate to make him stay, to make him understand, opened his mouth and let the words spill out. Screw waiting for a perfect moment, if Washington walked away now, he doubted that he'd get the chance to say it again. Washington might never talk to him again.

"I think -"  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"I do that sometimes too."

"Shut up, Caboose," Church chastised. _Before I lose my nerve_ he added silently.

Caboose tilted his head to the side, studying his self-proclaimed best friend for a moment. "You are nervous," the taller soldier realized. "Church, what are you afraid of?"

_Something that there isn't a cure for._

"Oh no! Have you caught the pregnancy? Am I next?"

Church hadn't realized that he had spoken aloud until his teammate started panicking.

"Caboose!" Church hollered in order to stop Caboose from running around in circles and wailing. "Neither. Of. Us. Are. Pregnant."

"But what do you have then? What isn't curable? The flu? Lipothymia? Singultus? Kinetosis? Lysis? Lice?" Caboose hurredly ran his fingers through Church's hair. Upon finding none, he lowered his head so that his teammate could check his hair as well.

Seeing an opportunity too good to be wasted, Church gently ran his fingers through Caboose's locks and guided the rookie's head closer to his own and kissed him.  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
Simmons opened his mouth and nearly said it again. Maybe something was wrong with him. Did he really think that... and Grif?

Of course he did and of course it was Grif.

When he had reached this realization earlier, Grif chose that exact moment to wander into his line of sight. The words had tumbled out without any permission from the mouth they came from, ruining Simmons' genius plan of not saying anything. Ever.

"No, you're just going to keep staring at me like you have been all day."

 _I wasn't staring, I was observing. Trying to figure out why. Why I felt like this_."Why you? Why me? Why?"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
Tucker stopped part way through and started again. "Cut me some slack. I'm trying."

"Trying to do what exactly?"

"Explain. This. Whatever it is. It's stupid. And frustrating."

" _I'm_ frustrating?"

"Hell yes. You have this smile that I can't seem to stop thinking about, or trying to find ways to get you to do it more often because when you do I forget how to breathe. Don't ask me how that works, or why it feels nice, but it does. Which is stupid. And suddenly I want to be around you more often. Platonically, but also definitely not platonically. Shit man, I don't know. I've never felt this way. Wanting to bang I understand, but not the rest of it."  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"I don't know what I'm up against." Caboose said, breaking off the kiss almost as soon as it started.

"Up against? Caboose, this isn't a competition." _Although if it was you've already won._

"So you don't feel that way about Tex anymore?"

"Oh." It slipped from his mouth almost without him realizing it. Caboose understood more than Church gave him credit for sometimes.

Did he still have feelings for Tex? Of course he did. That barely qualified as a question. He had feelings for Tex. He probably always would. He couldn't really imagine not. That didn't lessen what he felt for Caboose though.

What he felt towards his teammate was different. Wasn't it? Not really. Yet it was. Entirely. And somehow not at all. It was the same feeling, but felt differently. Expressed differently.

Church would never dream of calling Texas his buddy or an idiot. Whereas Caboose was a team killing fucktard, but never a heartless bitch.

Comparing them almost didn't seem right, and yet he used the same word to describe the wildly different yet strangely similar feelings he had for them. How did that make any sense?  
  
It didn't, but it was true. Trying to explain that would only further confuse or worse, distress Caboose though, and so Church told him the simplest version of the truth.

"What matters is how I feel about you."  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"I don't know what it's all about! Why what, Simmons? Why we're here?" Grif asked in obvious frustration. "Why you said what you said? Why you would say it if you didn't mean it?" _He wouldn't_ , Grif realized. "Why would you shout it at me if you did?" Grif asked, although most of the fight had left him.  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"I've got so much to think about." Washington muttered. He had been having difficulty just considering the idea that Tucker might actually be bisexual. That still seemed like a bit of a stretch. Then on top of that having feelings for the freelancer. And not just any feelings, strong ones from the sound of it.

It was like a fever dream that Washington couldn't seem to wake up from. That was the only logical explination. Although if this _was_ some twisted piece of his own subconscious then didn't that mean he wanted Tucker to say those things?

"Earth to Agent Washington. Wait. Chorus to Agent Washington," Tucker was waiving a hand in front of the freelancer's face. "Anybody in there?"

"What?" Was the elegant response that fell from the freelancer's lips as his brain returned to reality.

"So...?"

"What?" Washington asked again, fairly certain that he had missed the beginning of this line of conversation.

"Well you mumbled about thinking things over and then just stared at nothing for ten minutes. I was hoping you had an answer." Tucker looked nervous when he asked his next question. "Do you think I have a case?"  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"I - I - I-"

"Do you want to say it to my face this time? Otherwise you are never going to know what the answer is, and that could haunt the bolth of us for a very long time."

"Both," Simmons corrected automatically.

"Asshole," Grif responded without missing a beat.

The familiarity of an argument that they had had a hundred times relaxed Simmons, just like Grif hoped it would.

"Do you think you love me?"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"Caboose, I think I love you."

"I think I love you too, Church."  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"I think I love you," Grif said, enjoying the relaxed smile that came over Simmons' face.

"I think I love you." The smile that the maroon soldier wore when repeating the words was even better.  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
"I think I love you," Agent Washington said after a pregnant pause that Tucker was sure was going to be the death of him.

"I think I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "I Think I Love You" by The Partridge Family 
> 
>  
> 
> Caboose's list of incurable diseases:
> 
> Lipothymia - a condition or feeling of faintness
> 
> Singultus - a hiccup 
> 
> Kinetosis - motion sickness
> 
> Lysis - the gradual decline of a disease process (such as a fever)


End file.
